March 16, 2010 by A.S. Van Dorston

NEW YORK – MARCH 15: Inductee Iggy Pop of The Stooges speaks onstage at the 25th Annual Rock and Roll Hall of Fame Induction Ceremony at Waldorf=Astoria on March 15, 2010 in New York, New York. (Photo by Kevin Kane/WireImage)

There has been and always will be plenty of irony, tension and dissention when people attempt to take the unruly spirit of rock ‘n’ roll and pay tribute to it by embalming it in the mausoleum of the Rock ‘n’ Roll Hall of Fame. When a shirtless Iggy Pop tried to get the audience to join in on “I Wanna Be Your Dog” he said, “come on all you rich people!” When I learned the Stooges were to be inducted, I actually looked into getting tickets for the ceremony held on March 15th at the Waldorf Astoria in NYC. Tickets started at $2,000, which explains why the audience’s average age was probably in the 60s, and the tables of greyhairs in designer tuxes peppered with actors like Meryl Streep and Michael Douglas. That’s not very rock ‘n’ roll.

Hold it in a less posh venue, with cheaper tickets and bigger speakers, and it would feel more like the party it should be. That wouldn’t please everyone, of course, as there’s always someone whining about artists who have been passed over. There are certainly deserving artists who haven’t gotten it yet, from the hugely popular T. Rex, King Crimson, the Zombies, Small Faces, Tom Waits, to influential cult favorites Captain Beefheart, Tim Buckley, MC5, Big Star, Modern Lovers, etc. Van Halen has been inducted, and the likes of Judas Priest, Thin Lizzy, UFO and Cheap Trick are at least as good. The likes of KISS, Foreigner and Journey might be pushing it. It’s not like we’re going to run out of top shelf candidates. Newly eligible this year were The Pogues, The Jesus and Mary Chain, L.L. Cool J., Nick Cave & the Bad Seeds, Dinosaur Jr., Megadeth and Camper Van Beethoven. In recent years they’ve inducted Metallica, Run-D.M.C., Wanda Jackson, Jeff Beck, Bobby Womack, Little Walter, Leonard Cohen, Grandmaster Flash and the Furious Five, R.E.M., Van Halen, Patti Smith, Black Sabbath, Blondie, Sex Pistols, Lynyrd Skynyrd, Miles Davis, U2, The Pretenders, Percy Sledge, The O’Jays, Prince, ZZ Top, Traffic, AC/DC, Elvis Costello & the Attractions, The Clash, The Police, Isaac Hayes, Ramones, and Tom Petty & the Heartbreakers among others. As long as they keep including quality artists like that, I really can’t complain. Beats the living shit out of the Grammys, that’s for sure.

Previous Rock ‘n’ Roll Hall Of Fame induction ceremonies were broadcast in recent years by VH1. They must have been edited for brevity, because I don’t remember it being four hours long. I actually had to upgrade my cable package to be able to watch it on FUSE (at least I wrangled a good deal and am actually paying less than before). If there was any possibility of The Stooges, Genesis and ABBA jamming on “I Wanna Be Your Dog,” I had to see it. Stranger things have happened, like Madonna choosing The Stooges to play a medley of her songs when she was inducted, which I interpreted as her gesture that it’s ridiculous that she was inducted before Iggy and the motherfuckin’ Stooges! It’s good that I could watch the whole thing uncut on HD. Except that it WAS cut – FUSE was ridiculously overzealous in censoring every single swear word from the live broadcast, including “bullshit” and “bastard,” which you hear fairly often on regular network TV. So not rock ‘n’ roll.

Billy Joe Armstrong of Green Day inducted The Stooges, bringing his crumpled notes to the podium like a fifth grader giving his a report of his summer vacation. I could think of many people more appropriate than him, but oh well. He certainly was earnestly enthusiastic. Iggy was in great form, hefting the award bemusedly, “this thing is . . . heavy.” He was predictably irreverent, saying, “Well, roll over, Woodstock. We won!” and flipping the double bird. He held out index cards to the audience with phrases of his speech scrawled in bold black magic marker, and surprisingly just at the end, he started to choke up a little. While former Sony VP and Raw Power-era guitarist James Williamson gave his boring, long-winded speech, Iggy squirmed and bounced as he impatiently waited to rock, already unbuttoning his white dress shirt. They played “Search and Destroy,” which sounded strangely anemic. While Billy Joe called him “the most confrontational singer ever,” Iggy did not leap into the front row tables as I’d have hoped. He was less laid back on “I Wanna Be Your Dog,” walking into the audience and teasing them until about a dozen came onstage to join in on the chorus or just dance. The Stooges were nominated seven times previously, only to be outvoted. They could have snubbed the Hall of Fame like the Sex Pistols did, but I think they made the right choice to just have fun with it. Their presence certainly breathed fire into an otherwise overly loquacious and staid event.

Trey Anastasio gave an incredibly geeky, detailed analysis of Genesis’ music from their mid-70s peak through their transition after Peter Gabriel (who did not show up) left. I kind of liked that. Phish’s performance of two Genesis songs was competent but bland, while Steve Van Zandt managed to give a simultaneously impassioned and boring speech to induct The Hollies while, as my friend Peter said, doing an amazing impression of Danny DeVito as the Penguin. As a jangly second-tier British invasion band, The Hollies are pleasant enough, but their performance was absolutely wretched, despite Maroon 5 attempting to repair their broken harmonies. Since only half of ABBA showed up (one is afraid of flying), Faith Hill tortured one of ABBA’s arguably worst songs, “The Winner Takes It All,” to the point where it just should have been euthanized.

Asylum, Geffen and Dreamworks mogul David Geffen was given the executive award and accurately summarized that he had no talent.

After those train wrecks, Jimmy Cliff was a breath of fresh air. His voice was nearly as good as it was 40 years ago, and he sung a spirited “You Can Get It If You Really Want,” a soulful “Many Rivers To Cross,” and a joyous “The Harder They Come,” all featured on his career-making soundtrack to the 1972 movie The Harder They Come. Songwriting legend Carole King inducted a group of seven of her songwriting peers. Eric Burdon showed that his ageing pipes are nearly as strong as Cliff’s with his nice version of “We Got To Get Out Of This Place.” Peter Wolf showed he still had some charisma left in his corpselike frame, while others like Chris Isaak and Rob Thomas were okay, and Ronnie Spector was more frightening than Iggy. The Stooges were snubbed by not being included in the closing jam to the last song. Sadly, my fantasy all-star jam of The Stooges, ABBA and Genesis was not meant to be.